ROMNEY WORDSWORTH – As originally reported in Psychology Today, between 31% to 57% of women surveyed from 1973 to 2008, (about 4 in 10 women) admitted to having secret rape fantasies, with a median frequency of once per month. Many women reported feelings of being abnormal or perverted for having these fantasies, indicating the real figure is probably significantly higher, but goes unreported.
The Journal of Sex Research reported a study conducted in 2009 by psychologists at North Texas University. 355 college women were asked: How often have you fantasized being overpowered/forced/raped by a man/woman to have oral/vaginal/anal sex against your will?
An astounding 62% of the women surveyed reported having had at least one such fantasy. Responses varied depending on how the question was phrased. When women were asked if they fantasized about being “overpowered by a man,” 52 percent said they’d had that fantasy. This also is the most popular scenario typically depicted in women’s romance fiction. But when the question was asked using the word “rape,” 32 percent said they’d had the fantasy, which is still a surprisingly high number.
The survey data corresponds to anecdotal information, such as the widespread popularity of Fifty Shades of Grey, a novel and movie about romanticized sadomasochism.
Is this the result of the “pornification of America”? As the popular culture becomes more and more sexualized, in ever more crude and explicit terms, is this changing the way women think about sex? Or does it have nothing to do with pop culture? Is it a deep seated psychological craving of women that harkens back to human existence in a State of Nature, where women survived by virtue of pairing off with the most aggressive alpha males, who were also the most successful hunters?
According to askmen.com, rape is the third highest reported female sexual fantasy:
“These female sex fantasies usually involve a gorgeous man carrying her off to his bedroom and quickly getting down to business. She’ll protest as he tears her clothing off and expertly arouses her body, but on the inside, she’ll love every minute of it. This continues to the point of penetration, and leads her to an incredible orgasm despite her earlier protests.”
Of course, one might point out that this isn’t really rape, because there is an underlying willingness of the woman in these scenarios to participate in sex. One can well imagine that if we slightly tweaked the scenario, say, by replacing the “gorgeous man” with a short, fat, balding man with a big zit on the side of his nose, that the female reaction would be something less than enthusiastic.
How do we reconcile this data with the Radical Feminist movement’s constant railing against “the rape culture”? As Shakespeare would say: Doth thou protest too much? Does this explain why significant numbers of Western women have travelled to the Middle East to join ISIS, which actually does have a very real, legally codified, rape culture? Is this just the most extreme example of the more common penchant for women to be attracted to “bad boys”?
Anecdotally, I once dated a medical student who admitted to secretly wanting to be “thrown up against a wall” and taken forcefully. So as far as I’m concerned, this is a real phenomenon, albeit one that does NOT apply to all women. It would also explain the vast confusion between the sexes as to what women expect from men. Men, being the simple minded creatures that we are, simply can’t deal well with getting constant mixed signals.
Rather than continue the current popular legal and cultural climate to demonize and criminalize male sexuality, perhaps both women and men would be much happier being able to just be themselves.